Category Archives: shyness

Shyness

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When I wrote my first monologue of a post at 18 years old, I never thought at 25 years old I would ever talk about shyness..seriously, it would have seemed like a retrogression of some sort, but I have realized, the older we get, the more self-aware and wiser we become, and I have truly grown from that 18 year old girl I used to be.
Are you one of those people who are just going about life and people around you start asking things like, “why are so quiet?, do you want to say something?” etc etc, if yes then stick around..
Growing up, I never would have categorized myself as a shy person/quiet, I always had a group of friends that I talked to, but people especially grown ups (teachers and family friends)would always tell my parents I was quiet or shy, and they gave it a negative connotation, making it seem like it was a bad thing..which made me want to get far away as possible from that label.
In college, shyness/being quiet became even more of a thing because I was in a different country going through a very different social adjustment, with college students who constantly pointed out my differences and socializing just became exhausting to me unless it was with Kenyan people (who obviously I clicked well with).
Out of the school environment, I still get the “quiet girl” label with my interactions with others, and at first I just wondered…is it such a bad thing to be quiet?, I know at times it may make situations a bit awkward with new people, and its required sometimes to feign interest in someone so as to diffuse this awkwardness. It also may make you seem uninterested in others around you, and sometimes you may be….but it paints as rude (in places like a friends house, a dinner or a party etc)
Most times, as a quiet person people may tend to take advantage of you, and thats where you have to clearly set boundaries and say “no am not happy with that and stand your ground”
It is ok to be naturally quiet, there’s nothing wrong with it. Find people who you click well with and be good friends with them, in social situations, fake it! haha it may become exhausting but if its unavoidable, you’ve got to.
Quiet people are also underestimated a lot, and are some of the smartest people I know. For expats living away from home and away from your comfort zone, different social environment with unfamiliar social behaviors may make you a shy/quiet person because you are afraid of embarrassing yourself due to lack of knowledge in certain things that are familiar to others around you, and also people may approach you less or even ignore/lack to acknowledge what you have to say just because you are so different. However, over time, we adjust and are able to socialize easily.
Lastly, if you are this type of person, don’t be intimidated by the crowd..i mean, whats the worst that could happen? (unless your life is on the line haha), keep on living your life and know that there are very many people out there who feel the same way you do…and we are all just people!

If you prefer seeing me talk about the topic, click on the video below…warning: I have a cold and may have blood shot eyes and a strange voice haha, please bear with me, I really wanted to talk about this. I would appreciate your feedback too 🙂